I really wanted to do some kiddie crafts with my little ones.
I really wanted to have Kembry help cook dinner (she did help with the cookies...ish.)
I really wanted to read two chapters with Cohen since I missed two nights in a row.
I really, really, REALLY wanted to clean the kitchen. But that's not with the kids, that was for my own sanity.
I really wanted to read our scriptures together.
I really wanted to say a family prayer.
And then it was 11:30, and I was in bed, not sleeping.
And then I realized...
I never did any of those things when I was kid. Like...ever.
My mom tucked me in every night until I was like 10, but I don't remember reading chapter books with her.
Pretty sure we never prayed together, or read scriptures. Ever.
My mom was a working mom, so I don't remember ever doing kiddie crafts with her.
But you know what, I still really love my mom. I still turned out pretty okay...ish. My kids still think I'm pretty cool and love me.
So even though there are still things I want to do just because I want to do them, I've kind of accepted that, hey, I turned out okay without ever learning culinary arts at my moms elbow. And maybe my lack of craftiness doesn't stem from not weaving when I was a toddler. Shoot, I can crochet a wicked hat of a random proportionate size.
And because most of this lamenting was poured out in prayer, Heavenly Father helped me recognize some other things:
I haven't yelled at the kids in a long time.
Kembry gives me hugs every fifteen minutes and tells me she loves me.
My kids love going to school.
My kids love coming home from school.
My kids have friends. And they're good friends.
My kids smile more than they cry.
My kids are beautiful. And they're mine. And I adore them.
So I'm on my way. I'm on the road. And on that road may be the occasional, and I do mean, occasional kiddie craft. Perhaps when Kembry is 16, I'll teach her the art of crock potting. Cohen and I may just finish the Leven Thumps series before he graduates college or have his fifth kid.
All in good time. There is a reason we have eternity. There is time.
And because everyone loves inspirational quotes (okay, maybe just me?) I'm throwing this in here. My friend Shine posted it on facebook just when I needed it. Another tender mercy of the Lord.
"By their fruits ye shall know them" Matthew 7:17; 3 Nephi 14:16
"Have you ever bitten into a fruit that's not ripe--a hard strawberry or a green melon or something like that? It's gross! All you really want to do is spit it out. If you were judging the fruit based on that appearance at that time, you might think the fruit was not good. But if you waited until the fruit was ripe and then tried it, you would see how delicious it could be.
An important thing to understand about raising children is that children are the slowest-ripening fruit there is. Those precious fruits of our mothering take a long time to mature, and what's more, they all ripen at different rates. So it's unproductive and even dangerous to base our feelings of mothering confidence on where the fruit is at any given time." - Emily Watts "The Slow-Ripening Fruits of Mothering," (p. 10-11)
And then of course, there's this: